My first love in life was football. I latched onto the San Francisco 49ers seemingly immediately out the womb. At 3 years old I could name the 49ers entire starting offense, including lineman, and most of the defense. I would be brought out for parlor tricks by my parents to show off my knowledge, like naming all of the starting Quarterbacks in the league, or the 49ers starters, or what have you.
It was my favorite sport growing up. Even as I fell in love with basketball and played that in high school, I would’ve played football in a heartbeat, if it wasn’t for emergency brain surgery in 8th grade that made playing football a big medical no-no. Still, my love as a fan didn’t wain. I started a fantasy football league with family and friends in 2002 that is still running today. I obsessively followed the 49ers, suffering through dark years, only to love the Jim Harbaugh led teams more than I had any San Francisco team since I was a child. I was as obsessive a football fan as anyone out there.
And this year, I won’t watch a single second of NFL action.
My relationship with football has been fraying for a few years now. As the NFL’s concussion problem grew more apparent in the early 2010’s, watching the game didn’t quite feel the same. There was a pang of guilt that wasn’t there before. After realizing that it wasn’t going away, I knew that my days as an NFL fan were numbered. The relationship further deteriorated as more information about how the league hid medical information from players and tried to avoid responsibility for the injuries suffered, and my disgust with the league grew. Goodell and the current administration weren’t doing the league any favors in my eyes, either, with their routine botching of handling domestic violence incidents involving players, their insistence on scrubbing every bit of personality out of the league, and a million more awful decisions. I was getting close to drifting away before last season, but then Colin Kaepernick started his protest, and I was engaged again.
As a fan of Colin already, and a supporter of all the causes he was protesting for, I was happy as hell that the QB for my team was making a stand for his beliefs like this. Knowing how awful Blaine Gabbert was, I eagerly awaited the time to come for Gabbert to get pulled and for Kap to get his shot. Once Kap got the starting gig, I consumed as much 49er action as I could. As he knocked the rust off and actually started to look fairly solid toward the end of the season, I was excited about the possibilities for next season. Knowing the 49ers were going to cut him if he didn’t opt out first, I had decided that I’d take my fandom wherever Kap went.
The entire time, however, I knew there was a very distinct possibility that would mean taking my fandom away from the league altogether. Seeing the ridiculous outrage that followed Kaepernick’s protest did not leave me optimistic about someone in the NFL stepping up to give Kap a spot. But I held out hope. I thought maybe a 16:4 TD:INT ratio with the worst receiving core in the NFL would be too much to ignore. I hoped that actual film breakdowns with analysis, from NFL analysts Stephen White and Cian Fahey that showed Kaepernick as a solid starter in the league would maybe move the needle a little bit for someone looking for some potential value. In the end it turns out NFL teams would rather sign Arena League QB’s that don’t even have agents and coax mediocre QB’s out of retirement and give them 10 million dollars than sign Kaepernick.
And so now I’m here, completely disavowing the NFL, and mainly in all this I just feel sad and confused. I just don’t understand the continued vehement disgust and objection that people have to Colin Kaepernick’s (now ended) protest. He’s made it very clear many times what his intentions are, and he’s backed everything up with actions. His protest and everything that’s come from it has been unequivocal good. He pledged to donate one million dollars in hundred thousand dollar increments last year, and as of now he’s donated 800K to various charities including Girls clubs, and organizations that provide direct support to families affected by violent crime. A man who wants to donate all this money to try and make these communities better, and you DON’T want him to draw a paycheck? There was nothing disrespectful about his protests, he has support from veterans, law enforcement, and fans across the spectrum. All he’s saying with his protest is “Hey cops, please stop killing unarmed black people!” How is that an objectionable request?
I just can’t understand people who are so wrapped up in themselves that they think their precious feelings are more important than justice and good. Colin is still talented enough to be a starter in the NFL. He’s bringing attention, time and money to important causes, and you want him out of the league and to hamper those efforts because he knelt during an old, not terribly good song (with an incredibly racist third verse, by the way)? How incredibly selfish and petulant is that?
But that’s where we are. And now, I’m all the way done. If Kaepernick gets a job, I’d watch and support him, but at this point if Kaep’s not playing, than I have no interest in the NFL. Took 3 decades, but they finally drove me away. Congratulations.
